10 Weird State Laws

Lady Justice is depicted wearing a blindfold. Maybe the people who made these laws were also blindfolded from reality. Our country and each state in it has laws meant to give provide protection for citizens. While we often must give up certain freedoms for this protection, some of these laws are just plain weird!

Here are 10 of the many weird laws that are still in the books of these states.

1. In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.

Connecticut

It isn’t clear what it is if it doesn’t bounce, but apparently not a pickle. Maybe Connecticut had an overpopulation of pickles or something.

2. Residents must not fish from a giraffe’s back.

Boise, Idaho

Maybe Boise should be more concerned about someone owning a giraffe instead of fishing from it. Could anyone even explain the competitive advantage fishing from the back of a giraffe gives a fisherman?

3. A man with a mustache may not kiss a woman in public.

Iowa

This law was definitely made by a woman. There’s no other explanation. What are the rules on mutton chops?  Those would be cool to grow, but it would be hard to have to give up kissing women. You would just have to weigh out the pros and cons.

4. Tomatoes must not be used in the production of clam chowder.

Massachusetts

Has anyone ever had tomatoes in their clam chowder? That actually sounds delicious. Does anyone want to move to Massachusetts and break the law? Or we could just eat some tomato and clam chowder somewhere legally.

5. It is illegal to cross state lines with a duck atop your head.

Minnesota

This one makes even less sense than the others. If someone successfully crosses the border of a state with a duck on their head, they should be congratulated, not arrested. To be that emotionally connected to a duck is beautiful.

6. Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling paws is unlawful.

Kansas City, Missouri

Anyone want a custom-made puppy tub? Apparently not in Kansas City. That just seems like an empty life.

7. Worrying squirrels will not be tolerated.

Excelsior Springs, Montana

If you have some kind of personal vendetta against squirrels and want to live in Excelsior Springs, forgive and forget. Don’t freak out the squirrels by stealing their walnuts, or however else you would worry a squirrel.

8. Tissues are not to be found in the back of someone’s car.

Oklahoma

Can you have them in the front of your car though? What if you have a runny nose or hear Adele’s “Someone Like You” while you’re driving? Tissues definitely come in handy.

9. No horses are allowed in Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.

South Dakota

Does anyone know a guy who can make pants horses? Or do you just let your horse wear your pants? How do you squeeze a horse into pants? Is this just to make the horse more presentable? So many questions about this one.

10. It is illegal to tickle women.

Virginia

Contain the tickle monster around women in Virginia, or buy yourself a one-way ticket to jail. Thanks for sucking all the fun out of life, Virginia.

If you didn’t already figure this out, you most likely won’t be punished if you break one of these laws. Don’t worry. Most of these laws are ignored by the states or simply by common sense, but they remain in the books for our entertainment. Although, actually being arrested or fined for breaking one of these laws would make for a great story. Especially if you crossed Minnesota’s border with a duck on your head.